Testimonies
Sr Elizabeth of the Trinity OCD (R.I.P)
At School I always wanted to live my faith, it was my deepest treasure. When I found out about Carmelite life it was the prayer life that I wanted. It doesn’t mean we spend all day on our knees, we have to be practical. I love prayer and to think that we can speak to Him, the thought of God fascinated me, the words from the Acts, “In Him we live and move and have our being” delighted me and also many other parts in the Epistles. We have to grow in our Faith, ponder what it means, Our Lord and Our Lady in our life. I love truth and reality and was not attracted to a sentimental piety. I had many faults of character and could have gone the other way but always the thought that God sees all and knows all kept me from following that way. I choose God. If there was no God then there would be nothing else, there is no such thing as spontaneous generation.
I realised that I would not be able to live the life of complete silence. After entering Carmel I found God everywhere no matter what work I was given to do, I found it a joy and always tried to do my best. Carmel is not an escape from responsibility, we develop our gifts and talents as an adult. We put the same care into community things as we would if we were in our own home.
I love the Divine Office since we are praising God and sharing in Our Lord’s prayer in union with His intentions and also Our Lady’s prayer life, too.
Sr. Elizabeth of the Trinity OCD
Sr. Elizabeth wearing a crown of roses on her Golden Jubilee of Religious Profession, 14th Nov.’97
With Srs. Mary of Carmel, Teresa Margaret and Mary Joyce.
May she rest in peace.
Sr. Jane Marie Therese of the Holy Face. OCD
Sr. Jane Marie Therese of the Holy Face. OCD
Carmel is the ‘home’ where I am able to live out my vocation, or “to be love in the heart of Mother Church” St. Therese of Lisieux. That is, the place where I am able to live a life of prayer in the required atmosphere of silence and solitude in the company of like-minded people. For me personally, St. Therese of the Child Jesus has always been a great inspiration, a never failing loving friend, as well as a wonderful example of heroic sanctity and love of God and neighbour.
Life in Carmel to me means living the ordinary daily ‘common life’ in a deep spirit of faith, hope and love. Nothing spectacular perhaps, but rich in the peace and joy only God can give. Then there is the pervading presence of Mary, loving Mother and ponderer of the Divine Word. “All I have in Carmel is Gift from God to be shared with others.”
Sr. Jane Marie Therese of the Holy Face. OCD
Sister Mary of St. Joseph OCD
An appeal from our website expert and a feeling for her almost empty hands has sat me down to expand my story of eventually coming to Carmel here in Auckland.
At age two months, I left my Birth Country of Guyana, South America, with my Mother and brother and sister. Dad was working for the government during the war in Trinidad, West Indies. We ended up in the small town of Point Fortin where my father was engineer for Shell Oil. Three more children were added to the family. We lived near the ocean, and on Sundays we all went for rides in the ‘pick-up’ through the forests and to other beaches. We got to know the homes and families we passed.
My first opening of mind came at about two years of age. I was toddling around and suddenly stopped to look in wonder. I saw my father and mother, brother and sister, kneeling in a corner of the dining room before a picture on the wall. I ‘knew’ somehow that it was a very good thing they were doing and that they were saying something to someone who wasn’t seen. My impression was: “Doesn’t that look nice”. About a year later, I was suddenly aware of myself for the first time. I was playing on the see-saw, and I said, “here am I climbing up a pole”.
We always went to Mass on Sundays. The Irish missionary priest, Father McNamara, was very shy but very capable of gathering the people and keeping them together. It was after my First Holy Communion, following my First Confession, that I really had a spurt on to be good. I wanted to do it for God. At age nine, I went back to Georgetown, Guyana, for boarding school, where one of my Aunts was the Ursuline Superior.One day without having desired or thought of it before that moment, I said to another Aunt, “Auntie, when I grow up I am going to be a Sister”. Three times in My life I have come out with a prediction of my future, not having thought of it before saying it.
The following year, Mary my sister and I went to the Ursuline Boarding School in Barbadoes. I learnt to love the silences and the ordered life. I knew the centre of the life there was Our Lord’s Presence in the Tabernacle.
When I was eleven, we moved to Ontario, Canada, and for years all of us suffered much from the winter cold. My high school years, were in a way, shy and very sensitive to others – even if I joined the drama club, loved sports and public speaking. But I made no real friends. I often fell back onto my own thoughts. Our Church was near the School and I would pass it on the way there and make a visit to Our Lord. I learnt to reach out to Him from outside the Church on the street, knowing He was Real and that He knew everything about everyone. I would pray in the morning and evening of each day, and the rosary with the family. I would think about problems in the world and relate them to God.
We moved to North Quebec when I was fifteen and I made some wonderful friends there. Then for the two years following, we were in St. Jean’s, near Montreal, and I worked as typist for the Military. Again it was a rather solitary time. At age 19 I went back to last year of High School in St. Catherine’s, near Niagara Falls. Again I got into a fine group of young people. I came out of my shell completely. Moving to Auckland, New Zealand, the following year, I went into Nursing Training and then into the Catholic Youth Apostolate. A mighty grace during Night duty at the Hospital turned my life completely around, I began going to daily Mass and doing spiritual reading. Thoughts developed, and also a great desire for God. He manifested His Will to me to enter Carmel, and it took me two years of getting used to the idea and of discerning if it was really God’s Will. I loved the life “behind the walls” – even if I had weak health and there were the inevitable trials everyone has, in one way or another. I knew that my ‘work’ in the Church and for others was from “within”, in my line to God. This is through faith, and in trust and love, and in offering myself in the things we did.
It has been a gradual progressive journey in every way. It means learning over and over again, so that truths and knowing God our Lord, becomes more and more simplified and part of me. There is a response from Heaven in the lives of others, and our own, for every prayer and act of goodness, or sacrifice, we make. This is a power over the Heart of God that is going on all the time, all over the place. We will be very surprised, at the last day, when we see revealed the true benefactors of the world – the poor, the forgotten, the ignored, the despised, the little ones – those who trusted in their God.
Sister Mary of St. Joseph OCD
April 23rd, 2004
What is Life all about?
In essence, it is meant to be a relationship between each of us and the One who breathed Life into us. There is natural life and the Life of God in our souls through baptism.
The Mystery of Existence is God-who is the Fullness of Being and He is the “One-and-Three” who unites all of us Together. So every other person is also meant to be part of our relationship of Love with God.
That is behind our calling in Life – whatever it may be. The Lord has a Plan for everyone. Our peace is in finding and following it. He will give indications, or sign-posts, to show us how to proceed.
I have always had an absolute conviction that I am walking God’s Plan for me in this little corner of the world. It is meant to form us to become rivers of grace by God’s doing that pour out to others.
Prayer by a humble heart that holds on in dark faith and trust, is a great power. It spreads to the ends of the world. So does every difficulty that is lived and empowered by Trust in God’s Divine Goodness. He will not let us down.
Carmel or other Orders, the Priesthood, genuine marriage, the single choice and so on are specialized lives. In order to specialize we have to give up things and take on others. Part of life is to make Life-choices without them we will miss out. The choice to believe in Christ Jesus who is God is a life-choice. The choice to belong to His Church founded on Peter is a life-choice.
I have found the road so much easier by taking Our Mother Mary as my constant way to Jesus Lord. She is the opening to Christ. Try her and Trust her.
WHAT CARMEL MEANS FOR ME
Carmel means for me
- a space for freedom, that ease
- in reaching the Mystery of God
- held and given us
- in Himself as “The Man”.
- It, also, by entering this Presence,
- means I unite with Him in the
- saving of others – through His Sacrifice.
Sr. Mary of St. Joseph
Sr. Mariam of the Holy Spirit, OCD
I was born in Hamilton, New Zealand, in 1942, of Kiwi parents being the third of five children. At that time everyone was suffering on account of World War II. Shortly afterwards, my Dad was sent to the Solomon Islands, a little after the decisive battle of Guadalcanal, and was away until the end of the war.
I knew nothing of God in those days. My parents and family were very good people. My grandmother, who had a strong, very lovely character, was a Theosophist. My mother had a staunchly Presbyterian upbringing, but had long since ceased to attend Church. My father styled himself a freethinker, and did not wish any of his children to be led astray into religious superstition. So life, death and God were largely a question mark in my mind. Real atheists are few, and I could not look at the beauty and wonder of God’s creation, and not sense that “there must be Something!” Also, I sometimes read my Mum’s big family Bible. The hymns we learned at the State school I attended gave me a taste of what it meant to love and worship God. Quiet and solitary moments, especially in the bush, on hills, or by the sea were times of awareness of I know not what – who is there who has never felt tangibly sometimes the presence of God?
I was very far from being a saint, and vivid realization of my sinfulness and accountability was the first grace which brought me conversion. Like St. Augustine, I was alone, and reading a book, when it happened. “Believe ye in the Father, who heaven and earth hath created, and in Him who redeemed it, the Son, and the Spirit wherein both are united??” were the words that hit home and transformed me. I knew and believed in God, as surely and securely as if I were built on a rock. Then the fun began! I did not dare attend a Church at first,but listened with earphones to Church services on the radio. Later, I attended Baptist, then Presbyterian and Anglican services. I had a great longing to attend Mass, but knew no Catholic friends who would take me. I had been greatly impressed and influenced by a Catholic boy who worked in the same office, but he married and moved out of town.
At 17 years of age, I moved with my sister to Hamilton, to be with my ageing grandparents. This meant I had more freedom, and it was there that I met Jean. She was about 20 years older, and belonged to the Legion of Mary. She took me to attend Mass, and I took to the Catholic faith, as a duck to water. My vocation sprang up almost at once, before I entered the Catholic Church. I made friends with a Sister of Our Lady of the Missions, but the Order that attracted me was the Carmelites, because it was so radical and prayerful. On the occasion of my first Christmas Midnight Mass, about a week after my baptism, I said my “Yes” to Jesus promising to do my best to enter the Carmelites. Within about 2 weeks I made my first visit to the Carmelite Monastery in Auckland. Sister Canisius was friendly and encouraging, but told me that converts to Catholicism had to wait 3 years before entering religious life. So I waited for those long 3 years to pass, studied law, and carried on with life. It was a time of growth, and proved to me and to others that my resolve was not a passing moment of religious fervour, but a genuine call from God.
Finally, I entered as a postulant, and stepped into a new and different world, where God and the exigencies of a prayer life take first place. It seemed like an oasis of faith, in a desert of secularization. I was happy, in spite of the hardships of our way of life. My sophistication fell off, and I enjoyed the smallest joys God sent my way, like watching the dew sparkling in the sunshine, or listening to the tuis very early in the morning, at prayer time. Like all nuns, I was formed and educated in prayer, and the things of God. Then came the lovely day when I was clothed in the Carmelite habit, followed a year later by my vows of Religious Profession – poverty, chastity and obedience for 3 years. Then at last I made Solemn Profession of Vows, my definitive commitment as a bride of the Lord. It was the end of a journey, and the beginning of one which will end in heaven, where we will love God madly, without end. What does it matter, in the meantime, if anyone thinks us mad to throw away our lives. Jesus has loved us, and given His life for us, and anything we can give Him with gratitude seems a very small thing – to Him be glory forever!
Sr. Mariam of the Holy Spirit, OCD
Sister Anne Mary (Extern Sister)
HOW DID I COME TO CHOOSE THIS FORM OF LIFE?
AND WHY?
There was a vague attraction to Religious Life from early childhood years, common enough, perhaps in those days when our schools were staffed by Religious. However, I took my future seriously. When I was in Standard 3 or 4, that is age about 10 or 11 years, Sister spoke of the Carmelite Nuns in Christchurch. Sister was of the Congregation of Our Lady of the Missions, R.N.D.M., and their Novitiate was in Christchurch and in Addington where the Carmel is, the Parish School was staffed by these Sisters. Sister said she thought there was a Carmel in Auckland also. For some strange reason I never forgot that. About 2 or 3 years later, again my future came very much to the fore and, of course, I prayed to know – at this stage, as if “one step at a time” was my policy – what subjects I should take to fit me for my future. During this time I read a pamphlet on St. Therese especially with one particular part which seemed to me – and I stress this “which seemed to me”, to bring out the sufferings of Therese and the intentions for which she offered these suffering, and I thought about it there and then, and a tug-o-war began in me – “no I wouldn’t have the courage”, “If she could do it so could I” and so it went back and forth until I ended on the negative. But this seemed to be the beginning.
Yes. I did think of other Religious Congregations, especially missionary and nursing ones.
How did I know? Well, as can be seen from what I have already said, prayer and God’s will were very important to me and so I prayed.
What did I pray for? Not for a Religious Vocation but rather to know
1. If my vocation was to be marriage that I would know who I was to marry.
2. If I was to be a Religious that I would know to what Order, and that I would know how to go about going ahead with it.
3. If I was to remain single, that I would work where I could best fulfill God’s will. It was to Mary as Mother I prayed.
I had been at work for about 18 months when my girl friend asked me to make a Retreat with her at the Lower Hutt Cenacle – the first weekend Retreat at this new Retreat Centre – to be given by Father Pat Abbott s.m.
On the Sunday morning Father met me and began chatting – “Was I going to stay here?” “Oh, no, but I wouldn’t mind being a nun though”. “What are you doing about it?” By now I knew that this was the answer to my prayer – I was caught!! Yes I could choose and I did. I said my “Yes” and I still say my “Yes” after 47 years, and, by God’s grace will continue to say it right up till my last breath.
What made me choose this? And what has kept me here? The answer to both questions is the same – “The compelling Love of Christ”. Although I would not have used these words 49 years ago for I would not have known just what it was, this attraction I had, however, I do know now, and I have never regretted this choice. THANKS BE TO GOD.
SR. ANNE MARY (EXTERN SISTER)
Sr. Rose-Marie Teresa of the Holy Spirit OCD (R.I.P)
“Life Was His First Gift to Us” – Liturgy.
I was born on the 27th August, 1928, at Midnight in Rawene Hospital, Hokianga, New Zealand. My mother, because of a serious heart condition chose to sacrifice her life in order to bring me forth, rather than have me aborted as the Doctor strongly advised. She had six other children under the age of ten years but she was a fervent Catholic and believed in God’s loving Providence. Before she died she asked that I be placed in her arms and Baptised and gave me the name Rose-Marie for remembrance. My wonderful mother gave me physical life but was also instrumental in giving me supernatural life as well. It was said by the Doctor that she died smiling, “she died like the sun going down!”. Then, before my 4th Birthday, my God-parents Daniel and Margaret Leader welcomed me into their home and treated me as their adopted daughter, pouring out on me the fulness of affection and care, nurturing my life physically and spiritually. They made sure that I often saw my own Family and my 3 brothers and 3 sisters have always been most dear to me and have faithfully visited me in Carmel over the years.
In that atmosphere of joy and love I grew and developed. My years at Primary School were both happy and successful. At great a sacrifice to themselves my God-parents sent me to board at St. Mary’s College, Ponsonby, Auckland for my 4 Secondary School years. When these were successfully completed I was accepted at Auckland Teacher’s Training College and did subjects part-time at Auckland University. I was only quite small when I felt God’s call in the depths of my heart. This call became stronger in my teen-age years but I did not heed it. It was only when I had finally became a teacher in Royal Oak School, Auckland, that the call now became insistent. At last I joyfully accepted God’s invitation and I entered the Carmelite Monastery in Epsom, Auckland on December 8th, 1951.
The Spirit of the Lord now revealed to me the depths of Life and Love that I had never before experienced and I knew that I was in love with God. What I came to realize was that God deserved the highest, purest and most profound love and that only His Love alone was worthy of Him. Also that God desired to share His Love with us so that we might accept this Love and together with our own self-offering return it wholly to Him. This participation in His Love was also an intimate sharing in His Life. Again I realized that when physical life ebbs away, His Divine Life within us endures and that we pass from death to Life Immortal in eternity.
On June 10th, 2003, I was 50 years professed in Carmel but our big celebrations were held on Saturday, 31st May, 2003, the Feast of the Visitation, as the Bishop was able to officiate at the afternoon Mass and preach on that occasion. It was a day of greatest joy, and our chapel was crowded with friends and relations from near and far to celebrate with me. Everyone remarked on this wonderful spirit of joy and rejoicing that pervaded the whole ceremony. My heart was overflowing with joy, love and gratitude as I publicly renewed my Vows at the Mass. June 10th!, and that day was spent in great rejoicing and celebration within our Community in Carmel. So join now with me in giving thanks and praise to God for all these Blessings as I look forward to the Eternal Jubilee when we will rejoice together in Heaven. May this loving Lord of ours draw us continually into His intimate movement of Living and Loving within the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. For God is the source of Love and Light and Life. From His Breath all life proceeds, Amen.
“The Annunciation – Mary, Mother of the Living God & Our Mother”.
The Painting is designed to portray the Dynamism, Power and radiant Joy of the Holy Spirit’s life giving action at the Incarnation of the Word. If the Living God, Creator of all life, destined the human reproductive act to be an act of wondrous joy, how much more ecstatic and rapturous must have been the happiness that inundated the soul and body of Mary, as she consented to the Divine Motherhood. Mary, is instrumental in sharing with us all, the precious gift of Divine Grace received at Baptism. This grace destines us for fruition in Heaven in the glorious, infinite happiness of eternal life. The Holy Spirit, symbolised by the Dove, is set within the radiance of sunset clouds evoking the glory of the Theophany. I wrote this poem as I meditated on this picture.
The Kiss of God
From depths of God to human depths,
Life-giving Kiss of God on Mary’s lips, Transforms her in Love’s joy.
Now Word made Flesh within her bides, Her chaliced hands this treasure hides;
And from her eyes, transforming love shines out upon our human race-
A mother’s gaze that claims as hers, Each child of God, Christed in joy,
Destined eternally for God’s embrace.
By Sr. Rose-Marie Teresa of the Holy Spirit OCD.
WHAT CARMEL MEANS TO ME
As a small child I noticed on the first finger on my left hand a mark, the letter C, like a signet ring in the flesh. I would look at it and say “Carmelite”. And so the idea grew with me that I would be a Carmelite. It was the beginning of a call and I still have this clear mark!
At the age of 23 I entered Carmel feeling a great happiness and peace and a sense of God’s presence. For me, Carmel, when I entered there with such great joy, was not so much a place or a garden, as its name means, but the “meeting with” and “living with” the God Who is Love. At the Profession of Vows the Church publicly witnesses to the Covenant of love made between the Bride and her Lord. In our exchange of love, Jesus’ desire to save and bring all souls into His Kingdom, now became my prayer, my life-long desire. In this Nuptial context, before the Lord to Whom I am solemnly betrothed, my life is lived out in Carmel under the shadow of the Cross and in the glorious dawn-light of the Resurrection. In Faith, Hope and Love I press forward with great eagerness to that eternal moment when Carmel’s vocation is finally fulfilled in the meeting of my Beloved Lord face to face. It is then I hope to sing forever of the Mercies of the Lord.
Sr. Rose-Marie Teresa of the Holy Spirit. OCD